Don't give up

After finishing an English lesson in center, as usually, I return home with a head full of thinking...
I have asked myself so many times the same question "Can I make it?". I have never truly believed in myself even one time.
I am not confident at all. As a consequence, I always depend on luck. So stupid. 
Sometimes, I wish I could be more brave and don't fear of anything. But there are so many things that can be obstacles to me. I don't know why I am always afraid of many things which I don't know exactly.
I am on the way of making my dream come true. The dream of going out of this country to find a new sky, expand my knowledge and experience many things that I've only seen in mass media.
I know that my family can't affort to pay for my course if I study abroad. That's why I'm looking for a 100% scholarship. It's very difficult. I know.
The first step I take is learning English to get a IELTS certificate. My aim is 7.5/9. Am I a dreamer? No, I am sure that I can do it. 
Meanwhile, after building a new house, my family are facing some money debts, so the shortage of money are always a problem. In the process of getting a master scholarship, there are many steps that need money, maybe all. The problem is that I can't ask my parents for money anymore. How can I do that when my family is in a big debt and earning money are so difficult today. Because of the economics crisis in Vietnam, my mother can only receive by a half of her payment in 2 years ago. In addition, the inflation is too high that makes every products and services become more expensive. As a result, my family expenditure has to be cut off a lot and the quality of our life has been decreased rapidly. I can deeply feel the sadness in my mother's face and my dad's long sigh and completely understand the family finance pressure in my parents' shoulders.
I can't make them feel more heavy anymore. So I decide to do it by myself.
I will borrow money and will return it after I get the scholarship. The price of some steps are high but if you look further, the things you can get is 100 times bigger than it. It is, absolutely, deserved to invest in.
I don't want to be a dreamer. I want to be Ms. Dream Comes True \m/ Fighting!